Being a grown up.

I've been surprising myself this past month. I've realized a lot of new things about myself just by spending so much time with, well, myself. And it's quite fun, honestly. I'm an out-and-out people's person and whenever I meet someone, I want to know everything about them and I put a lot of time and effort and getting to know people and figuring out what they're about. And I really enjoy the process! So this month, was about meeting 22-year old me.

Embarrassing as it may be, one of the things I realized were that my optimism tends to border on sillyness and impracticality. My restaurant plans, for example, have been deferred to 5 or maybe even 10 years from now and resilience demands that I make my peace with that and I have. The cooking and baking, however, shan't stop even though only friends and family may be subjected to it. So, just to let everyone know, the restaurant isn't happening yet and I'm fine :)

To justify the title of the post, this whole process of putting my dream on hold and making decisions that were tough, to say the least, has made me re-prioritize and really think about what I want and what path I've been on all my life. 

My idea of growing up, however, isn't the conventional definition. Like a friend recently said, 'growing up is over-rated'. I agree. And which is why I suggest none of us take it as seriously as we do. I have a life plan. A picture of how I see myself 5-6 years from now, and every decision I make today and in the near future, should logically lead me to that picture. That's where the grown-up-ness ends. Growing up doesn't mean not having fun, not taking risks, not being who we really are. One of my closest friends in the world keeps telling me, 'you can't plan out your whole life on paper', and it's true. There is such a thing as destiny, luck and things being 'meant to be'. 

Anyhow, the point of this post was to try to pen (or type) down my mental-state which is clearly super muddle-headed. But I shall soon emerge with some clarity. Till then, I'm really enjoying this phase.

I have a dream

You know how when you really, really want something, it seems that the entire universe is sending you signals that it's gonna happen? I've always wanted a restaurant/cafe of my own and it was a dream that I'd postponed, even for consideration, to 10ish years from now. And then the universe (or the optimist inside me) worked its magic!

I graduated from college (PG, not grad), and had some time on my hands and everyone around me suddenly seemed to be talking about businesses all the time. One of my best friends is reading 'The Secret' and is sure that if you keep believing that your dream will come true and keep saying it out loud- the universe will hear your prayers. She sends me a quote from the book everyday and they totally make sense! It's like horoscopes in the papers, it feels like the quote is about me, about my issues and about what was bothering me on that day. The book also says “The law of attraction says like attracts like. ... The law of attraction is giving you what you are thinking about. It is working all the time. What we do is we attract into our lives the things we want, and that is based on what we’re thinking and feeling.” It's a really simple, sweet thought and easy to implement, too.

Then, another really close friend sent me this:

Again, it felt like this was ABOUT my dilemma.I had to do something about this. So, I started a facebook page and have only received words of encouragement, as of now.

Then, there were ads about SME loans on TV, success and not-so-success stories about cafes showing up randomly on my Google searches, and just a lot of 'signs' that I thought the universe was sending me.

So, now, I've decided to prepone my dream. I don't have a business plan, a place, a chef or a bank account filled with money but I do really want to do this. And even though I know that businesses shouldn't be started out of love, but I'm not going to stop wishin' and hopin'. I'm trying to work out the logistics, and will hopefully see them through. My best friend, who lives in Bombay, and has always been the force of practicality and logic in my life, has decided to take on the tough role of the 'skeptic' and honestly, it feels like we've got it all covered.

With dreams in my eyes, shiny-ness in my heart, lots and lots of fear in my mind and the will to work really hard on this, I've decided to give this a real shot. 

To everyone who's reading this, if there's any way you can help or if there are any suggestions that you have, please let me know.

:)

23 Things to Do Before 23

I've recently been hearing, thinking and talking (A LOT!) about how I don't act my age. I'm 22 and don't really do the run-of-the-mill crazy things that others my age do. Some like to kid, that I was born a 35 year old. The issue is not that I regret being like this, it actually, really doesn't bother me. I like it this way :)

So, I'm turning 23 in 4 months and 10 days, and 23 is quite grown up! To make it a more fruitful birthday, than others (even though I love birthdays and the celebration(s) really need no substantiation) I've decided to make a list of things that I want to get done before my birthday. A list of 23, to be precise. They may not be your everyday, regular 22-yr old's resolutions. But, like I said, I'm not a regular 22-year old, hence the difference in priorities and modes of fun. Suggestions welcome, though :)

23 THINGS TO DO BEFORE 23

1. Visit a gorgeous beach

2. Read at least 10-15 books [that I've never read before]

3. Take lots of gorgeous pictures, and start a photo-blog.

4. Put my love for fashion, to use.

5. Start REALLY working out and lose weight by then.

6. Do a photo shoot with friends

7. Do something that is outside of my comfort zone.

8. Learn how to play the guitar

9. Start a scrapbook for my restaurant and have a tentative POA

10. Start investing

11. Give mom and dad at least 3 reasons to be super proud.

12. Pay more attention to myself

13. Hug my parents 1,000 times

14. Buy more pretty dresses and bags.

15. Watch classics (viz. The Godfather Movies)

16. Learn how to cook more stuff 

17. Volunteer at People for Animals

18. Dance A LOT

19. Start playing a sport

20. Have an awesome party (pre-birthday)

21. Make everyone I love, feel loved.

22. Go back to being an impractical present-giver

23. Dance and laugh. Everyday.

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Cricket ka jod hai, tootega nahi!

Last night was an epic bright and shiny moment. For every single Indian, in every corner of the world. It was a celebration like no other, and one that bound us all together, into one huge ecstatic, delirious, hysterically happy bunch of people. Every time our national anthem is sung before a match, the country stands up in respect, and hope for a win. The hearts and souls of the country's men, women and children, are temporarily transferred into the bodies of those 11 men in the stadium. Cricket brings our country together, like nothing else can, or ever will.

I remember feeling super-patriotic, in tears really, while watching the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games last year. After all the scams, and mishaps, it was a proud, proud moment to be part of a country that put forward such a brilliant show. But this is just a whole new feeling. We live in epic times, a friend said. We do. April 2, 2011, will be one of those days we talk to our grandkids about.' Those were the days, people danced on streets, celebrities came out, and cricket wasn't just a sport', we'll say.

Someone tweeted, all of this started when a bengali man took his shirt off and waved at from the pavilion at Lords. That IS when it started. It's been a journey, that we're all so, so lucky to have been a part of. I spoke to cousins in London, who wanted to burst crackers but didn't have any, while experiencing a heart-felt Diwali, one with so much more spirit, passion and just pure happiness than the original festival. Spoke to friends who were in the middle of traffic jams in Bombay, and so, so, so happy to be.

I write this today, so that years later, I can relive this feeling that I'm dreading will go away soon, once Monday blues and Tuesday woes get the best of us. And I urge everyone who's reading this, to keep the love for the country, and that fire in our bellies alive so that we become capable of, if not recreating, trying to live a life that doesn't just make us, our families and friends proud but the country that we love and adore, proud too.

The Return of the Cynic

So I'm an out-and-out optimist, and have always opposed the forces of the-'the world's ending in 2010', 'what's the point, we'll all die anyway', 'there's no such thing as love', type of conversation. I like to look at the up-side, it helps keep me going. What struck me today was, that even though we're evolving to become a world that's super-connected, solution-oriented and mostly sorted (at least at the surface), pop-culture (only talking about films today) suggests that we're becoming more and more cynical by the day.


Bollywood, is a perfect example of our mammoth cynicism. For example, Biwi No. 1 (1999) was a movie about infidelity. For the uninitiated (shameful!) Salman Khan plays the role of an unfaithful husband who has an affair with a supermodel (Sushmita Sen) because his wife (Karisma Kapoo/ur) is too involved with the family. Cut to 7 years later, and there's Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, another film about infidelity. I'd rather not explain the plot of the film, because even though it was a realistic movie, and was equally loved and hated, it was just so NOT what Bollywood is supposed to be. Family dramas, another beloved genre that has seen amazing successes like Hum Apke Hain Kaun and even K3G, have now become non-existent. Karan Johar has moved from happy-soppy (Kuch Kuch, K3G) to bummed-dumbed (We are Family (PUKE!), MNIK). The ugliness-spear didn't spare love stories either. Gone are the days when the girl's father, religion or another suitor played villians, it's all about confusion, identity crises (suicidal couples, even), and independence, now. Cases in point- Break Ke Baad, I Hate Luv Storys (that was not easy to type), Anjaana Anjaani and the likes. 


Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against realistic cinema. I'm all for it, really! I love a good, serious, meaningful film. Chak De, Swades, Rang De Basanti- all brilliant films. The idea is to take the audience to a different world, involve them in the character's problems and the solution and end with an ending that leaves them happy, optimistic, and somewhat inspired. There's enough sadness and ugliness in the world as it is. I prefer the Maine Pyar Kiya to the sequel with the 'kyun' in the middle. Also, I'm not a big slapstick comedy fan, either. I can't stand Akshay Kumar and don't even get me started on those 'multi-starrers'.

I'm a strong believer that it's the entertainment industry's responsibility to blind the sadness with the bright and shininess that only comes from dreamy, happy endings with gorgeous people. I would go into TV (from Hum Log to Hum Paanch to Balika Vadhu), but this may just get a little too long/dull/boringgg,

Some would argue that the industry gives people what they want. Maybe. But then Dabangg was the highest grosser last year, and was loved by people from all kinds of social strata and varied tastes in films. 3 Idiots, the second highest grosser, was also one of those inspiring, follow your own path-type movie. Why did people (I) love Band, Baaja, Baraat? 'Cos the thought of weddings and young kids following their dream and falling in love, automatically take you to another world. A happy, disconnected place where everything is new. (even though I was so happy that Ankushka didn't get pregnant after all the love-making. Some changes are good!) This movie deserves a separate post, though. So more on that later. The key point here being, people are looking for happiness, there just isn't enough of it available. And the bad stuff, is easier to spot and absorb.

The world's getting scarier, darker and more and more cynical everyday. If all of us take a pledge to blind the darkness, intimidate the scary and kill the cynic, I just think it'll make life simpler for everyone (no matter how little of 'life' we have left).

Realm of Reality- Bubbles

My favorite thing to write and think about are these little, odd, patterns that I come across everyday- in the behavior of people around me, in the way I prioritize things in auto-pilot, etc. What came to my mind today, while sitting in a class about De Bono's 'Six Thinking Hats', was how we create these invisible bubbles around us for comfort, comprehension and sometimes just by default when we're in a 'phase'. 


For example, babies have basic needs and their bubbles are tiny. Them and food, them and their toy, them and their pretty little bed. When we reach school and have crushes, our bubble exists around us and the 'crushed'. The rest of the world just doesn't exist. There is no bigger picture. All that matters is the two of you. Wherever in class he/she is sitting, is where all your concentration is focussed at. 


Once you grow up, the bubble gets bigger, and bigger and bigger. Friends and family enter, society enters, work enters and then comes life and all its glorious mini-bubbles. The second we leave school, things just go on getting macro-er. Today, I found my mind wandering, thinking of relationships, my career, the way I think, the way businessed function, countries are governed and so on, when the professor spoke of the various kind of hats. I'm pretty sure, if this was school, or if I had a crush on someone in class, all the hats and everything they stood for, would relate back to that person and my relationship with him, or even if in college (graduation, that is) it would've made me think of my friends or how we function as a group or maybe even life after college- still super micro. 


The key idea being, that as we grow up, our bubbles should naturally get larger so that we can make decisions keeping EVERYTHING in mind. This may make life more complex but such is evolution. If the bubble isn't growing, there's something wrong.If you can't relate to a hat, if your thoughts don't come in the way of 'important' stuff, if your mind doesn't wander, if you aren't constantly realizing something new about yourself, be it good or bad, you need to blow some air into your bubble.


I'm optimistic, yellow hat-ted, consistent, indecisive, attached, averse to loneliness and drastic change, treasure relationships.. and the list gets longer every single day. My bubble is an okay size, I feel. Not as big as some people around me, but big enough for me and my thoughts. Even though, some of my friends dream of changing the world, and I look up to them, I only dream of changing my own and making it bright and shiny :)

Pretty Words

This is is just something I read while looking for options for a name for a Boutique Hotel that we needed to create for a Marketing assignment in college. It's just so pretty, I couldn't resist but share.

I love smooth words, like gold-enamelled fish
 Which circle slowly with a silken swish,
 And tender ones, like downy-feathered birds:
 Words shy and dappled, deep-eyed deer in herds,
 Come to my hand, and playful if I wish,
 Or purring softly at a silver dish,
 Blue Persian kittens fed on cream and curds.
 
 I love bright words, words up and singing early;
 Words that are luminous in the dark, and sing;
 Warm lazy words, white cattle under trees;
 I love words opalescent, cool, and pearly,
 Like midsummer moths, and honied words like bees,
 Gilded and sticky, with a little sting.
 
- Elinor Wylie

My time of the day

No matter what kind of a day it's been, when the sun starts setting, the sky becomes an odd orange-ish blue and the sun becomes this odd flood light hitting everything at this odd angle- it always makes me smile. 

It happens around 4-5ish everyday (depending on which part of the year it is) and I've always wondered why, just looking at everything around me- the trees, cars, people, dogs on the street, everything- gives me this funny, happy feeling that only brilliant rom-coms, Bublè/Legend music, or a super-mush book is capable of. The songs on the radio become background music to the rush of over-optimistic, almost movie-like thoughts in my mind. The photographer inside me comes alive, and I wish my eyes were fitted with a DSLR, or that I could just jump out of my car and walk. Smile, sing, and walk. 

I've never understood why just the way the sun hits things around me, can make me so purely happy. Maybe it's because the time of the day reminds of the days in school when 4 o'clock used to be time to go out and play. Maybe it's about how picturesque everything looks. Or maybe just because that's usually how it looks when the heroine, in most rom-coms, has realized what the right thing to do is/who her dream man is/she's in LOVE and walks smiling away to glory on a sidewalk. I'm yet to figure out what exactly it is, but who minds random spurts of caramel-y happiness :)